Put Me In Coach.
A lack of timely, relevant feedback is one of the biggest challenges for employees and leaders. We can change this by getting back on the field and getting our heads in the coaching game.
Who was your best coach? What did they do? Did they help you set goals, make a plan and then work towards achieving it? Did they notice the things you were doing well and encourage you to “keep doing that”?
Did they notice the things you struggled with and needed to spend more time on, encouraging you to do things like “next time try putting your foot here”.
And then something changed and you went to a different team. On the new team you weren’t coached in the same way. You rarely if ever received feedback. It was silent. When you did get feedback it was negative, or irrelevant. You weren’t clear on what the goals were, or how to go about achieving them. No fun at all. Guess what happens on teams like this? We leave physically by going to another team, or emotionally by disengaging, or we do both!
One of the most powerful things we can do as leaders is provide our teams with clear direction, and timely and consistent feedback. Feedback about what’s going great (the +), and what can change/improve (the delta).
How do I coach in the moment?
- Observe – describe the behaviour. Focus on the facts. Start with ” I noticed you”.
- Effect – explain the effect on self, others, the organization. i.e. “I could see the team light up (+)” or, “I could see the team pulling back and disengaging (-)”
- Plan – make suggestions, identify next steps, check for commitment. i.e. “Keep doing that (+)” or “Next time try this. (-)”
- Rinse and repeat.
What can hold us back from providing timely and relevant feedback?
Our own personal worldviews on conflict can affect how comfortable we are providing feedback. Some of us avoid what we perceive as conflict for all sorts of reasons, and this can result in the softening of our feedback. i.e. “I think you are great, what I need you to do more of is.” Or the opposite, being overly aggressive, “this isn’t working, do it this way now”.
The Thomas Kilman Conflict Modes helps us understand our own conflict style and how this might show up. Where do you think you sit when it comes to conflict? Are you an avoider? Do you compete? Do you accommodate? Does your mode change under pressure? Ultimately the collaboration style is the one we want to aim for. Also known as “win win”.
Embracing the role of a coach involves more than just giving feedback
It means fostering a culture where feedback drives trust, growth and improvement. Effective coaches, like the best leaders, don’t just point out what needs to change; they recognize and encourage what’s working well. This approach builds a team that feels seen, understood, and motivated. Effective coaches are coaching all of the time. Better never stops. Feedback is frequent and ongoing. It is not a yearly event.
To be a better coach, start with understanding your worldview when it comes to conflict. If you tend to avoid conflict, reflect on why that may be, and then tell yourself that you can’t get to great performance without healthy, productive conflict. Healthy conflict deepens relationships and builds trust. Trust and relationships are the fuel that drives performance.
Take a look at your team, and start incorporating frequent feedback. Start with some + to get comfortable. And then practice a delta (-). “I noticed (XXXXX), next time if you try (XXXXX) I think it could give you more”. Now see what happens. The floor will not drop out from under your feet. I promise.